Where Ever You Are
by The Black Rosette
Summary: Cara never knew her father, her mum won't tell her anything. Cara begins her search for her father, but will she like what she finds?  Set roughly fifteen years after season 3, Manny kept her baby instead of having an abortion.
1. Dyslexia

"What are you reading?" Cara asked her Mum.  
>"Oh nothing really," Manny answered putting down her book. Cara looked at the cover. She wished the words made sense, but every time she looked at them, they went all blurry. There were pictures of this tall guy with dark, curly hair.<br>"What are you staring at kiddo?" Manny laughed at her daughter.  
>"Oh nothing really," Cara told her Mum.<br>"Well, I've got to make dinner," Manny got up and walked into the kitchen. Cara turned on the television. There wasn't really anything on, Cara just flicked through the channels. All the other kids at school had cable, but they didn't. Cara wished they could, everyone was always talking about shows she couldn't watch. Every time Cara asked, her Mum just told her they didn't have enough. Manny spent most of their money on paying for Cara extra tuition lessons. Cara had Dyslexia and was really struggling at school because of it. Manny worked so hard to keep Cara in extra tuition.  
>Cara turned the television off and lay back on the couch. She was fifteen, she was born when her Mum was fourteen and her Dad was fifteen. Her Mum was only twenty-nine now; it seemed way too young to have a fifteen year old. Apparently her Dad had been around heaps when Cara was a baby, but he was gone now. Cara didn't even know who he was. Her Manny wouldn't tell her. Manny never said anything about Cara's Dad now; she used to say little things when Cara was little. She'd tell Cara about how Cara had her father's good looks, his curls, his hazel eyes. Cara missed when her Mum told her about her Dad. She couldn't even remember him. Manny interrupted Cara's thoughts.<br>"Cara, dinner," Manny yelled from the kitchen. Cara got up and went into the kitchen. She looked at the kitchen table; at her dinner.  
>"Baked beans again!" Cara groaned. Oh how she hated baked beans.<br>"It's all we've got; pay day isn't until next week. Sorry babe," Manny smiled sadly at Cara. Cara sat down and looked at her Mum. She would have been an actress, she would have been famous. Cara felt so bad that her Mum never even got a shot at her dreams because she was looking after her daughter.  
>"The tuition is working right, it is helping, right?" Manny asked Cara.<br>"Yeah, I suppose; but I'm never going to be able to read! I am so sick of failing book reports, because I couldn't find the audio version!" Cara moaned.  
>"Yeah but Car, it does help doesn't it?" Manny asked again.<br>"Yeah I think so," Cara answered.  
>"Okay good," Manny said nodding. The two girls sat eating their dinner.<p>

"Cara, get up!" Manny yelled.  
>"No…" Cara groaned.<br>"Cara, you have school in twenty minutes!" Manny hissed.  
>"What! But my alarm!" Cara hissed rolling out of bed.<br>"The power went out overnight, clock reset its self," Manny told Cara.  
>"Wait, so you over slept too?" Cara asked.<br>"Yes, and I'm late!" Manny hissed. She then ran out of the room. Cara got up off the floor and started running around her room looking for her clothes. She grabbed a bra off her desk, hoping it was clean and put it on. She picked a top off the floor and pulled it on. She grabbed her jeans, but they wouldn't do up.  
>"Crap!" Cara hissed. "Mum! My jeans won't do up!"<br>"Jesus Christ, use mine!" Manny yelled back.  
>"Where are they?" Cara asked.<br>"On the couch, I think!" Manny yelled. Cara ran out of her room into the living room. Manny's jeans were on the back of the couch. Cara pulled them on. There was a click of heels as Manny entered the room. She was stressing out; she grabbed her bag off the couch and her keys from the kitchen table.  
>"Let's go babe," She said to Cara. Cara picked her bag up off the floor and followed her Mum out of their flat.<p>

Cara hated how badly her Mum drove when she was stressed. She tailgated, she sped, she cut in front of people and honked everyone. She pulled out the front of Degrassi Community School. Cars got out of the car just as the bell went.  
>"Love you babe," Manny called as she drove off. Cara rushed up the steps and into the school. She had English with Ms Kwan. Could she possibly have a worse teacher on the day she's late? She headed to the English rooms. When she got there she went into the room.<br>"Nice of you to join us, Miss Santos," Ms Kwan glared at Cara.  
>"Sorry Ms Kwan," Cara whispered.<br>"See me after class, now take your seat," Ms Kwan instructed her. Cara sat down at the back next to Sam Hall. He raised his eyebrows at her.  
>"What happened?" He whispered.<br>"Another black out, the alarm unset itself; Mum's late too," Cara answered.  
>"Rough," Sam whispered. "And now you've got the wrath of Kwan on you too!"<br>"Shut up Sammy," Cara whispered back.

"You're a bright girl Cara, why are you always late?" Ms Kwan asked.  
>"I'm not bright," Cara muttered.<br>"Having Dyslexia doesn't make you dum," Cara looked up at Ms Kwan.  
>"Yes it does, I can't even read!" Cara snapped.<br>"I taught both your parents, and now I'm teaching you; you're actually quite a bright family you know," Ms Kwan.  
>"My Dad isn't part of my family any more. He left us!" Cara snapped. She turned to leave.<br>"Cara, you still haven't told me why you were late," Ms Kwan reminded Cara.  
>"We had a black out overnight, the alarms didn't go off. Happy now?" Cara snapped. She then turned and stomped out of the classroom. Sam was waiting for her outside. He grimaced at her.<p> 


	2. Dad?

Cara and Sam were sitting on one of the picnic tables, outside the school, eating their lunch. Cara was always jealous of Sam; his lunch always looked so much nicer. Sam's family was so different to Cara's. His Mum was a University Lecturer and his Dad was a businessman. They were both in their early fifties and they had a lot of money. Sam had an older sister called Claudia. Claudia was in a top level college, studying medicine. Sam lived in the nice side of town, with the big houses with tennis courts and swimming pools.  
>Sam interrupted Cara thoughts.<br>"You're so lucky you know," Sam told Cara.  
>"What? How am I lucky? I live in a flat with my twenty-nine year old Mum, we basically live off of baked beans, I have Dyslexia, I don't who my Dad is; would you like me to continue?" Cara asked sarcastically. Sam sighed in frustration.<br>"You are lucky; you don't know what it's like to have parents that get angry, because you got a B! You're not expected to follow in your Father's footsteps and become a freaking businessman; your Mum actually gives a crap about you; would you like me to go on?" Sam glared at Cara.  
>"Are your parents still angry about that B in Maths?" Cara asked.<br>"Yes, they keep saying, 'Oh Samuel, you'll never been a businessman if you can't do Maths!' I don't give a crap about Maths, you know," Sam looked at Cara.  
>"Yeah I know, what do you think they'll say if you tell them what you really want to be?"<br>"What a Mechanic, they'll flip!" Sam laughed.  
>"Yeah they would, imagine what they'd think of my Mum, I mean she's waitress," Cara laughed.<br>"They'd be horrified!" Sam joked.  
>"I bet they would be!"<br>"Do you know what your Dad does?" Sam asked.  
>"No, I mean, he left when I was two. I can't even remember him, let alone what job he did, and it's probably way different now to when he was seventeen," Cara told Sam.<br>"So your Mum won't even tell you his name?" Sam asked; Cara shook her head.  
>"Every time I ask she just shakes me off," Cara explained.<br>"Maybe your Mum wrote a diary you could read, or I could read for you," Sam suggested.  
>"Maybe, that would be good," Cara whispered.<br>"It would tell you like, everything!" Sam exclaimed. Cara knew he was right, she wondered if her Mum had written a diary. The bell went and Sam and Cara moved off to class.

After her tutoring Cara walked home. When she got there her Mum wasn't home. _Probably still at work, _Cara thought. Cara sat down on the couch and turned the television on. She pulled off her shoes and chucked them at the door. As usual there was nothing but crap on; again she wished they had cable.  
>What Sam had said was still in Cara's mind, <em>'Maybe your Mum wrote a diary,'<em> that was the bit that stuck most. Cara got up and went into her Mum's room.  
>"Where would Mum hide a diary?" She thought aloud. She looked under the bed; there was just dust and junk. She looked in her Mum draws, nothing there. She looked in the closet. Cara could see anything there either. She was about to give up when she noticed a stack books under a pile of clothes. Cara pulled them out.<br>They were old diaries; she went through the pile in her hand. Each book had photos and cut outs all over the front; they were photos of Manny depending on when the diary was written. The top one had Manny and Emma pulling faces.  
>"Seventh grade," Cara smiled. The next book had a few pictures, one was a wedding. Emma had a massive perm, Cara laughed, Manny had a red dress. There were two dorky looking boys pulling faces, a boy with blonde hair, that had his arm around Emma, and a tall dark haired boy. There was another picture of Manny and Emma dressed up in Eighties clothes at a dance. The last was a picture of Manny and the dark haired boy from the wedding.<br>The third diary was what got Cara attention. The word slut had been written all over it. There weren't any pictures on it either.  
>She flicked through it, if only she wasn't Dyslexic, the diary could have given her clues about her Dad. Cara didn't bother looking at the other two diaries.<br>She'd have to get Sam to read them all for her. She knew he was the only person she could trust with this. Cara picked up the diaries and walked to her room, she chucked the diaries on her bed. Two pictures fell out of one of them. Cara picked them up.  
>The first was a picture of her. She was sitting in a pusher, she was about one. She had little dark curls all over her head; she smiled at herself. Cara looked at the second photo, the push chair was in still there, but she wasn't in it. She was now being held by a boy. He was about sixteen; he had dark curls and hazel eyes. It was her Dad. Her Mum had been right, she did look like him.<br>Cara heard the front door slam, her Mum was home. She put the pictures into one of the diaries and hid them under her bed. She then went out to the main living area. She smiled sheepishly at her Mum.  
>"Hey kiddo, what have you been up to?" Manny asked.<br>"Nothing," Cara said really quickly.  
>"Okay…" Manny said, hanging her coat on the hook. She kicked her heels off and flopped on the couch. She started flipping through the channels on the television. She ended up choosing some crappy, American soap opera. Cara sat on the floor and watched it with her Mum. She was so confused about everything; but she prayed the diaries would help her get answers.<p> 


	3. Diary of a Slut

Cara dumped the diary on the table in front of Sam.  
>"Am I allowed to ask why you're giving me a diary, with the word 'slut' written all over it?" Sam asked Cara.<br>"This is our insight into Degrassi, 2003," Cara told Sam.  
>"And your point is…" Sam asked. Cara rolled her eyes.<br>"It was the year my Mum was in Grade Nine! The year she got pregnant with me!" Cara told Sam.  
>"And you're giving me this because?" Cara sighed; Sam could be so thick sometimes!<br>"I need you to read it!" Cara told Sam.  
>"But think of what might be in there!" Sam whispered in horror.<br>"Sam!" Cara groaned.  
>"Fine, why does it have slut written all over it?" Sam asked.<br>"I don't know!" Cara snapped. Sam picked up the diary. He opened to a random page and read aloud.  
>"<em>…Sully is so hot, but Paige says he'd never go for me! She says he doesn't like girls with the 'cutesy factor'! How stupid is that, anyway I'm totally changing my image. I don't want to be cute, I want to be hot!<br>"_Cara, seriously do I have to read this?" Sam asked.  
>"Seriously, yes!" Cara snapped. Sam skipped a few pages and then read aloud.<br>_"Sully is such a jerk! He doesn't even like me! Craig Manning wrote Ashley Kerwin a song! I want someone to write me a song! Not only that, but the song was about how much he loved her! I'm so jealous! I totally dumped Sully! At least tonight is Paige's sixteenth, which should be fun!"  
><em> "Skip a bit more Sam," Cara told Sam.  
>"Wait…" Sam said holding up holding up his finger, signalling Cara to wait. His made a face as he read the diary, and then his jaw dropped slightly.<br>"What?" Cara asked.  
>"<em>Craig and Ashley had some sort of argument at Paige's party. Craig had stormed off and I followed him. He was really angry about his and Ashley's fight. Anyway I was just going to be a friend and all; I mean I'd totally forgiven him for dumping me last year, after our date, but well it sort of just happened. Craig and I hooked up!"<br>_"Eww," Cara exclaimed.  
>"We may have found your Dad," Sam whispered.<br>"Craig Manning," Cara whispered.  
>"Craig Manning," Sam confirmed.<br>"Wait, so it said that he went on a date with Mum the year before," Cara asked Sam.  
>"Yeah, so?" Sam asked. Cara reached into her bag and pulled out the other diaries. She pulled out the diary that the picture of Emma with a perm; but that wasn't the picture she was interested in. Cara looked at the photo of her Mum standing next to the tall, dark haired boy. He was the same boy from the photo of her and her Dad. So Craig Manning was her Dad.<br>"Look at this," Cara handed the diary to Sam and pointed at the picture.  
>"Is that your Dad?" Sam asked.<br>"Yeah, I think so," Cara smiled. She then found the pictures of her as a baby and showed them to Sam.  
>"So that guy is your Dad," Sam said, looking at the picture of baby Cara and her Dad.<br>"I wonder why he left us," Cara whispered.  
>"Things can get hard I guess," Sam smiled sadly at Cara.<br>"I wonder where he is now," Cara whispered. A small tear slid down her face.  
>"Who knows, but let's hope he's happy," Sam whispered wiping the tear away. It was then the bell went and Cara and Sam shuffled slowly off to class.<p>

When Cara got home, Manny and Emma were sitting on the couch laughing. They didn't notice her come in. Cara noticed they both had a large glass of red wine in their hands.  
>"He didn't even mention us!" Manny told Emma.<br>"Of course he didn't, someone's really going to say in their autobiography, I left my own child to become a rock star!" Emma snorted. Cara dropped her bag on the floor. Both Emma and Manny jumped.  
>"Oh Cara, you're home," Manny said. Emma stood up.<br>"Look at you! Cara you are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!" Emma smiled.  
>"Hi Emma," Cara smiled.<br>"You know you look so much like you're Dad! Emma said. Manny glared at Emma.  
>"Oh no, Emma you've broken the great taboo, Mum never mentions Dad. It's like forbidden to her!" Cara spat and then stormed into her room.<br>Cara pulled out the photo of her and her Dad. Emma was right; she looked so much like him. Had that been her Dad they'd been talking about when she'd come in? Had he really left to be a rock star? Why wouldn't of he at least sent money or something? It just didn't make sense.  
>After a while Emma knocked on Cara door.<br>"Hey Cara, can I come in?" Emma asked. Cara hid the photo under her pillow.  
>"Yeah," Cara answered. Emma came in and sat on the end of Cara bed.<br>"Sorry for mentioning your Dad," Emma said.  
>"I want you to mention my Dad, nobody ever does!" Cara whispered.<br>"Your Mum just wants to protect you," Emma told Cara.  
>"Tell something about him, please," Cara whispered.<br>"He was a charmer! Even I had a crush on him once!" Emma smiled.  
>"You did?" Cara asked.<br>"Yeah, I was heartbroken when he asked your Mum to dance, instead of me!" Emma laughed.  
>"Really?" Cara laughed.<br>"Yeah," Emma smiled.  
>"His name was Craig Manning, right?" Cara asked.<br>"Yeah, how did you know?" Emma asked. Cara shrugged, but she handed Emma the photo. Emma smiled.  
>"He loved you so much," Emma whispered.<br>"Then why'd he leave?" Cara asked.  
>"Because things got in the way," Emma told Cara and left it at that.<br>That night after Emma went home, Cara fell asleep knowing just a little more about her Dad, than she had yesterday.  
>Manny stood at Cara's door watching her daughter sleep. As Manny stared at Cara all she could see was Craig. A tear slid down her face; why had the world been so cruel? <p>


	4. Lo

Cara stared out the window. School was so boring to Cara; it wasn't like she ever learnt anything. Principal Simpson came into the room, he was being followed by someone; a girl. She was fairly pretty; she had dark brown eyes and red curls, which bounced around as she walked. She had pale skin and a light scatter of freckles. She had a little diamond stud in her nose. She was wearing a black, denim skirt and had stockings underneath. Her stockings were ridden with holes and had ladders on the back of her legs. She had on a black singlet, with _All Time Low _splashed across the front. She had a black scarf too. On her feet were red Converse High-Tops. She was carrying a bag over her shoulder; the bag was covered with badges. One of her hands was holding the strap. Cara could see the girls nails were dark purple and the girl had a silver ring, with a shiny black stone on her index finger. All down her arm was a cascade of silver bracelets, which jingled as she walked.  
>"Everyone this is Lauren Arnold, please make her welcome," Mr Simpson announced. He left the room and Ms Kwan turned to Lauren.<br>"Well Lauren would you like to introduce yourself further?" She asked politely. Lauren looked at us all.  
>"I prefer Lo, that's all," She muttered.<br>"Well then, Lo, you can take a seat over there near Cara," Ms Kwan told Lo. Lo walked to the seat and dumped her bag.  
>"What an emo," Dan Moore muttered.<br>"I know right, did you see her top, it had _All Time Low _on it, she must be seriously depressed!" His thickhead friend, Oscar Reid snorted. Sam was sitting next to them, he leant over to them.  
>"You do know that <em>All Time Low<em> is a band from the US, right?" He whispered.  
>"Shut up you fag," Oscar hissed. Sam rolled his eyes. He'd been putting up with being called names forever. He was always getting called gay, fag, poof or something worse. Cara always felt like an awful friend when people teased Sam.<br>After class Sam stormed out of the class room. Cara watched him go sadly; she got up to follow him. Ms Kwan stopped her though.  
>"Cara," she smiled, "I want you to look after Lauren today."<br>"But Ms Kwan!" Cara groaned.  
>"I could have given you detention for being late, but I didn't. This is how you will make it up!" Ms Kwan said sternly.<br>"Great," Cara muttered.  
>"Lauren, I mean Lo, Cara will be your friend for the day," Ms Kwan beamed at Lo.<br>"My friend?" Lo said raising an eyebrow.  
>"Yes, your friend," Ms Kwan confirmed, she then left the classroom.<p>

It was lunchtime; Cara and Sam were sitting at their usual picnic table. Lo was sitting with them. Sam was trying to make conversation with her.  
>"So you like <em>All Time Low, <em>huh?" Sam asked.  
>"Yeah, I guess," Lo mumbled.<br>"What's your favourite song?" Sam asked cheerfully.  
>"I don't, <em>Lost in Stereo<em> maybe, _Therapy, Too Much, Dear Maria Count Me In,_ maybe, they're all good songs," Lo answered.  
>"See I'm more of a pop person, you know," Sam persisted.<br>"Really, I'd never of guessed," Lo muttered.  
>"I like alternative," Cara put in. "Do you know <em>The Shins?<em>"  
>"They're all right I guess, you like them obviously, they're a bit weird though," Lo said.<br>"Yeah but they have good music," Cara thought aloud.  
>"<em>Caring is Creepy? Know Your Onion? Sleeping Lessons? <em>You really think they're that good?" Lo raised an eyebrow at Cara. Cara crossed her arms; this girl kind of annoyed her.  
>There was silence for a while, nobody said anything. Lo tucked some of her wild curls behind her ear. Cara noticed she had four piercings in her ear lobe. She had two more up higher on the cartilage. Cara had asked her Mum to get a second piercings in her ear and Manny had said no. Lo had so many piercings in her ear! And she had the nose piecing! Cara was really envious.<br>"So why'd you move here?" Sam asked Lo.  
>"My brother got moved to here," Lo told Sam.<br>"For work?"  
>"Yeah for work," Lo smiled.<br>"So you live with your brother, why not your parents?" Cara asked abruptly.  
>"Have you never heard of someone living with their brother, because their parents didn't want them? Or do you live in a bubble where you think everyone has perfect families, where everyone loves and cares for each other?" Lo glared at Cara. Cara was shocked.<br>"My family isn't perfect, far from it," Cara whispered.  
>"Yeah but did you parents send you to live with your brother, because they hated you? Please enlighten me," Lo hissed.<br>"No but…"  
>"See not so bad after all," Lo said smugly.<br>"Were you born to two teenagers? Did your Dad bail on you when you were a toddler? Is your Mum twenty-nine with a fifteen year old?" Cara snapped. Lo stared at Cara.  
>"Twenty nine, huh, that would've made her like fourteen, right?" Lo said finally.<br>"Where were you from originally?" Sam butted in trying to change the subject. Lo ignored him, as did Cara.  
>"Maybe I was wrong, not so perfect, huh?" Lo grimaced. Cara grimaced back.<br>"Not so perfect," Cara agreed. Lo held out her hand.  
>"Friends?" She asked with a grin.<br>"Friends," Cara confirmed, shaking Lo's hand. Lo burst out laughing, and so did Cara. Sam joined in too. The three then just laughed until the bell went. It was a strange world sometimes.


	5. Enter Jay Hogart

Cara bounced through the front door; Sam and Lo were with her. It had been two months since Lo moved to Degrassi now, and she was well and truly Cara and Sam's new best friend. Cara skipped into the kitchen. Her Mum was in there talking to a guy. He was tall; he had a round face and light stubble. His skin was quite pale; he had blue eyes and messy, light brown hair. Cara stopped, she guy smiled at her slightly. Cara knew him from somewhere, but she wasn't quite sure.  
>"Hey babe, how was school?" Manny smiled.<br>"Boring as usual, seriously, what is the point of school if you can't even read the test your failing; or even what's on the board?" Cara complained.  
>"Tough luck! Cara this is my friend Jay," Manny told Cara. Now she remembered, he fixed her Mum's car when it broke down the year before.<br>"Hi," Cara smiled, "Sam and Lo can stay or dinner right, Mum?"  
>"Oh um… maybe not tonight hon, I need to talk to you tonight," Manny grimaced.<br>"Oh right, now or…?" Cara trailed off.  
>"Ah yeah I suppose, you don't mind do you babe?" Manny grimaced again, this time it was more pained.<br>"Right."

"You're pregnant?" Cara gasped.  
>"I know it's a bit of a shock…" Manny started.<br>"You dated someone for almost a year, and then you find out you're pregnant and think, 'Hmm… maybe I should tell Cara now!'" Cara yelled.  
>"This is why I didn't tell you Cara! I knew you'd be like this!" Cara stormed off to her room in tears.<br>Cara sat on her bed hugging her teddy. Why hadn't her Mum trusted her? She couldn't believe Manny was pregnant, after all those years of it being just the two of them. Cara sniffled, did this mean that Manny's boyfriend, Jay, would move in? Or would they move into his house? Would Manny marry him? Cara was so confused. More than anything, right at that moment, she wished to find her Dad. Where was he? Cara _had _to find him.  
>There was a light knock on her door.<br>"Cara, can I come in?" It was Jay.  
>"Yeah," Cara sniffled; she wiped the tears off her face. Jay came in; he sort of stood at the door like he didn't know where to go.<br>"You can sit," Cara whispered. Jay sat on the end of Cara's bed.  
>"So, your Mum and I were thinking I could move in here," Jay told Cara.<br>"Makes sense," Cara whispered.  
>"Cara, I'm really sorry," Jay told her.<br>"For what?"  
>"I told your Mum to tell you, she didn't want to. She was worried," Jay told Cara.<br>"About what?" Cara asked.  
>"Your Dad, he was a bit…unstable at times, your Mum's just worried about genetics," Jay told Cara.<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"That's more something I think your Mum should explain," Jay grimaced.<br>"She won't tell, she doesn't tell me anything. Occasionally Emma will tell me stuff, but it's not enough. Jay please tell me," Cara whispered.  
>"Your Dad, had Bipolar Disorder," Jay told Cara.<br>"What?"  
>"Do you know what it is?"<br>"I know what it is, is that why I never see him?" Cara asked.  
>"You need to talk to your Mum about this stuff Cara, I can't give you all the answers you're looking for," Jay told Cara. Cara nodded, she understood that.<br>"Thank you," Cara whispered.  
>"So you don't mind me moving in here?" Jay asked Cara.<br>"No, no I don't. I'm glad you're moving in Jay," Cara smiled at Jay, Jay returned her smile.

"Wait, so your Mum dated someone for almost a year, and didn't tell you until she was preggers?" Lo asked in amazement. It was lunch, and Cara was telling her friends about the previous night.  
>"Yeah, and he's moving in," Cara added.<br>"So is he nice?" Sam asked.  
>"Yeah, he is. We had a 'talk' you see, he told me something big," Cara said.<br>"Big?" Sam asked.  
>"Yeah, like huge," Cara emphasised.<br>"Like what?" Lo asked.  
>"Well, we were talking about Mum not telling me, and he said she was worried. So I asked what about, he tried to avoid telling me, but I got it of him. My Dad had Bipolar Disorder, and that's something that can be passed down," Cara explained. Lo and Sam's jaws had dropped.<br>"So you might be Bipolar?" Sam asked.  
>"Yeah, as well as Dyslexic, I'd be a total freak, I mean the kid with Bipolar and Dyslexia!" Cara moaned.<br>"You wouldn't be a freak!" Sam frowned.  
>"Yes I would be!" Cara whispered. Lo put her arm around Cara.<br>"Car, you wouldn't be any different. You'd still be the Cara we know and love," Lo told her. Cara sighed.  
>"You guys are the best, I love you two," Cara whispered with a weak smile.<br>"Oh, Car we love you too!" Lo laughed.  
>"We do?" Sam joked. Lo punched him in the arm.<br>"We do!" Lo told him.  
>"Fine, we do then," Sam smiled.<br>"Group hug!" Lo announced. The three put thee arms around each other and laughed.  
>"Let's just hope I don't have Bipolar like my Dad," Cara whispered.<p> 


	6. Slightly Obsessed

"Fag," Dan Moore laughed in Sam's face.  
>"Do you have a boyfriend?" Oscar Reid mocked. Sam had the most awful, distressed look on his face. Cara swore he was on the verge of tears, she had to do something. She ran forward, hand ready to slap them. Dan Moore grabbed her wrist and pushed her to the ground. Cara gasped as she hit the ground, she was instantly winded. Lo ran forward to help her, but the boys continued to taunt Sam.<br>Cara felt someone pass her, it was Blake Keller. Cara stared at his lean frame passing her, his messy dark hair bounced. He pushed Dan into a locker.  
>"Why the hell are you hurting a girl?" He yelled; Cara hoped he meant her and not Sam. Dan pushed him into the lockers on the other side of the corridor.<br>"Are you a fag too then?" Dan snorted. Blake smashed him back into the locker. Dan threw him to the ground.  
>"Daniel Moore and Blake Keller, my office, now!" Principal Simpson roared, his voice rattled through the corridor. The boys got off the ground and headed for the office. Car watched Blake go in amazement; why had he done that?<p>

Cara watched Blake carefully every day for the next two weeks. She knew so many little things about him already. He never bought his lunch, and he always ate by himself in on the front steps. He rarely talked to anyone, and he always was reading a book and listening to music as he ate his lunch. From what Cara could see he was reading a lot of classics; he particularly seemed to like _Charles Dickens. _It was obvious his favourite subject was English.  
>Blake was fairly tall, and he had a very lean frame. He had lightly tanned skin and a freckle on his left cheek. He had reasonably prominent cheekbones, which sat high on his heart shaped face. His hair was dark brown; it always looked messy, as though he never brushed it. His eyes were dark green, the colour of emeralds. They glowed in the light. He dressed rather well too. He wore a short sleeve black shirt, and when it was cold he always wore an expensive looking, leather jacket. He always wore black jeans, but not the tight ones or the low riders. On his feet were black shoes, they weren't sneakers either. They looked like Italian shoes; Cara was very impressed by how Blake dressed.<br>The only time Blake smiled was when he was reading. He had a nice smile, it wasn't a big tooth bearing grin, just a little twitch in his lips almost, yet it made him look very beautiful indeed. At this point though Cara couldn't help admitting she may have been slightly obsessed, and verging on crushing.

Three weeks after Blake saved Sam from Dan and Oscar, Cara got closer than she'd ever imagined to Blake. It began in English.  
>"Cara, stay behind after class please," Ms Kwan told her. Cara worried, she was certain Ms Kwan was going to tell her she had to repeat Grade Ten. Cara worried all through English and didn't get any work done. When the bell rang she stayed behind as instructed.<br>"Blake, could you stay for a minute too please," Ms Kwan told Blake. After everyone left Ms Kwan smiled warmly at the two of them.  
>"Well, Cara as I'm sure you're aware, if you fail one more time, you won't make the grades you need to pass the year. Now I'm not willing to let one of my students be held down. So that is why is have decided that you Blake, will tutor Cara," Ms Kwan told them.<br>"But I already do tutoring," Cara told Ms Kwan.  
>"Yes but is it really helping Cara?" Ms Kwan asked her. She's said exactly what Cara had been thinking for months.<br>"Cara your Mother spends a lot of money on the tutoring, and I'd hate to think that the money was just being wasted. That is why today I rang your Mother and explain how I felt. She agreed that it would be wonderful to have you tutored for free, by another student," Ms Kwan told Cara. Cara was left speechless.  
>"Is that all?" She managed to get out.<br>"Yes that is all," Ms Kwan smiled at her. "Both of you may leave," she added. Cara walked out of class with Blake following her. He smiled slightly at her, and then headed in the direction of his locker. Cara watched him go with a strange feeling in her gut. She kept feeling as though there was something about him that made him so anti-social; a reason why he never smiled, why he seemed so attached to literature. Cara swore to herself that she would find out, she had to.


	7. Junk Food for the Soul

"Blake?" Cara asked, tapping him on the shoulder. He was standing putting things in his locker.

"Um hey Cora," Blake turned his head to look at her.

"Um actually it's Cara."

"Oh, okay."

"So, I was wondering if you could help me with something," Cara asked.

"What could I possibly help you with?"

"Homework, English homework," Cara said sheepishly.

"You need English help?"

"Yeah, desperately," Cara admitted.

"Library after school," Blake said bluntly.

"What?"

"Come to the library after school, and I'll help you," Blake told Cara.

"Oh," Cara was amazed at how cold Blake was.

* * *

><p>Cara sat in the library waiting for Blake. She chewed the nail on her pinkie, down and down. After a while Blake came in and sat down.<p>

"Finally," Cara muttered.

"Do you want my help?" Cara nodded. "What don't you get?"

"It's the novel," Car explained.

"What about it."

"I watched the movie, but it didn't really help. I was still confused," Cara whispered.

"You watched the movie? You do know you're supposed to actually read the book," Blake laughed. Cara looked down.

"I can't," Cara whispered.

"Why not, everyone can read. You just pick up the book and turn the pages," Blake laughed.

"Not everyone can read! There's this thing called Dyslexia, yeah, you might have heard of it!" Cara snapped.

"Wow, I'm really sorry, I didn't know," Blake mumbled.

"Everyone else does!"

"Yeah, I only moved here last year. I don't really catch much gossip!" Blake told Cara.

"That's because you've always got your nose stuck in a book!" Cara laughed. "Maybe you'd make a friend or two if you actually talked to people!"

"Who says I _want _to make friends?

"So you want to spend high school as a freaky loner, who loves books?"

"You wouldn't understand," Blake hissed.

"Try me, is it family issues, because I guarantee my family's more messed up! My Dad's Bipolar, he hasn't even been around since forever, my Mum is only twenty-nine, and she is pregnant at the moment with her boyfriend, Jay's baby. Mum didn't even tell me she had a boyfriend until she was pregnant. I mean how is it possible for a family to be more messed up?" Cara asked Blake.

"You don't have a Dad?"

"Well not really."

"My Dad died when I was six," Blake told Cara.

"Oh, is that why you don't really talk to people?"

"No."

"So…"

"My older sister had Bipolar, like your Dad, I guess, two years ago she went off her meds and killed herself. And then it was just me and Mum, and then we moved here," Blake looked up at Cara.

"I'm really sorry to hear that," Cara told him.

"Everyone always is," Blake said bitterly.

"Wanna ditch homework? We could go get something to eat, you know, drown our sorrows in junk food," Cara smiled. The corners of Blake's mouth twitched. Well it was almost a smile.

"Sure," Blake replied. He got up and picked up is bag; Cara stuffed all of her homework into her bag and followed him out of the library. Cara followed him to the parking lot.

"You drive?" Cara asked.

"I got held back the year my Dad died," Blake explained.

"Oh." Blake stopped in front of one of the cars. It was a silver Audi, Cara gasped slightly.

"What?" Blake asked her.

"You drive an Audi? They're so expensive!" Cara exclaimed. Blake shifted uncomfortably.

"Mum bought it for me, she buys stuff to keep her mind off April," Blake explained.

"Is April your sister?"

"April was my sister," Blake corrected quietly.

"So your Mum buys really expensive cars to take her mind off things? Does she have any money left?" Cara asked.

"Before he died my Dad ran a big company, and my Mum is an author," Blake told Cara.

"So you're like … rich?"

"I guess, I wish I wasn't though," Blake mumbled.

"So you're kind of like Tom Sloane," Cara smiled.

"Who?"

"He was a character on an old cartoon, from the 90's," Cara explained.

"Oh, okay. You can get in if you want," Blake smiled. Cara opened the door and got in, the car still smelt very new. Blake got in on the driver's side. "So where to?"

"Junk food right," Cara smiled.

"There's a Maccas down the street," Blake told Cara.

"To Maccas we go," Cara laughed.

* * *

><p>"Eww!" Cara said. She and Blake were sitting on a picnic bench in the ravine, eating McDonald's. Blake was putting fries in his cheeseburger.<p>

"What?"

"Why you put fries in your burger?" Cara asked wrinkling her nose.

"It's nice! Why do you dip fries in your drink?" Blake asked.

"Because it's yummy!" Cara laughed.

"How sad do you think we look now?"

"Not that sad, just funny. I mean an hour ago you were cold shouldering me, and now we're eating Maccas in the ravine, going on about how crap our lives are! And discovering each other's weird Maccas habits!" Cara smiled.

"Ah, the weird things people bond over!"

"Yeah, well," Cara smiled.

"So your Mum didn't tell you she had a boyfriend until she got pregnant?"

"Nope."

"That's sucks."

"Jay's not so bad, Cara smiled.

"Mum is never happy, she just works, and works, never, ever rests," Blake grimaced.

"That's sucks." Blake smiled at Cara, Cara smiled back. He'd smiled at her! She couldn't believe he'd finally smiled!

"You know, I knew your name was Cara today, don't know why I said Cora. I must have been nervous," Blake told Cara. Cara looked at him, whoa! He moved his head in towards her.

"Hey, you should hang out with Sam, Lo and me tomorrow," Cara offered, moving out of the way a little. Blake moved back.

"I'm not really a joiner, I'd rather read my book," Blake told Cara.

"But that's boring!" Cara complained.

"I like it, it's not boring to me," Blake told Cara.

"Why don't you join in?"

"I told you before."

"Yeah but why does that stop you joining in?" Blake shrugged.

"We should be heading home," Blake mumbled.

"Yeah right," Cara mumbled back.

Cara climbed out of Blake's Audi and waved goodbye. She then walked into her apartment block and up the stairs to her apartment. Manny and Jay were watching TV.

"Hey Car," Manny smiled.

"Hey."

"Where've you been?"

"The ravine with this guy from school," Cara told them. Manny and Jay looked at each other in horror.

"What?" Manny squeaked.

"We were eating away our pain with Maccas," Cara told her Mum.

"What pain?" Manny asked. Cara ignored her and walked to her room. "What pain?" Cara closed her door and laughed, she'd just given her Mum a whole new thing to worry about.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I haven't updated in a while, lots of homework though. Almost school holidays, so I can write heaps then!<strong>

**R&R Greatly appreciated, I do love hearing from you. Which you may have noticed if you;re read my Host fic!**

**TheBlackRosette ;)**


	8. Finding Craig Manning

"So are you going to try and find your Dad?" Blake asked Cara.

"Well yeah, but I guess I'm kind of scared to," Cara explained. They were having another 'study' session. Not that they ever did any studying.

"Makes sense, I mean you have no idea what he's like," Blake nodded.

"I wonder if he's married."

"Do you think he has you know… other kids?"

"Oh God, I didn't think of that…"

"Why don't you look him up in the births, deaths, marriages register?" Cara looked up at Blake, she hadn't thought of that.

"I…I didn't think of that…"

"We should try," Blake said. He lifted the lid of his Apple Mac and typed the birth, deaths and marriages register into Google. He clicked on the link and paused.

"What?"

"What's your Dad's name?"

"Craig Manning," Cara told him. She watched as the searches appeared. There were so many Craig Manning's in Canada!

"What year was he born?"

"Um… 1988," Blake added the information; it definitely cut down the numbers. There were eight searches left. We checked the details, narrowing it down again from what we were given until we had three.

"Now what?" Cara asked.

"We can look up their numbers in the phone book," Blake suggested. They used the online phone book, and looked up Craig Manning. Cara pulled out her cell rang the first number.

"Hello?" A child's voice asked.

"Um… Hello, I was wondering, is um… Craig Manning home?" Cara asked nervously. Cara heard the child yelling on the other end of the phone. A man spoke now.

"Hello?"

"Um… hello, Mr Manning is it?" Cara asked.

"Yes…"

"I was wondering; did you ever attend Degrassi Community School?" Cara asked.

"Um… no, I'm sorry, what's this for exactly?" The man asked.

"Just a quick survey, thank you for your time," Cara mumbled hanging up.

"No luck?" Blake asked. Cara shook her head and dialled the next number.

"Hello?" A man asked.

"Hello sir, is this Craig Manning speaking?" Cara asked.

"Yes it is."

"Mr Manning, I'm conducting a survey, which High School did you attend?" Cara asked.

"Toronto Independent High School," the man replied.

"Thank you for your time Mr Manning." Blake frowned. "Still not him," Cara told him after she hung up.

"Try the last one," Blake told her. Cara dialled the number.

"Marian, I just got Anna to sleep!" A woman snapped at Cara over the phone.

"Pardon?" Cara asked.

"Oh bugger, you're not Marian are you?"

"No, I'm not. I was wondering if Craig Manning was home?"

"Hold on, I'll get him. You know, whoever you are, you're ringing really early."

"But it's almost twelve."

"You're not in Vancouver then are you?"

"No, I'm… I'm in Toronto."

"Whatever, here's Craig,' the lady told her. "It's some girl from Toronto," Cara heard the lady tell Craig.

"Hello?" He asked nervously.

"Hi, is this Craig Manning and did you attend Degrassi Community School?" Cara blurted out really quickly.

"Yes, the same Craig Manning, did you go to Degrassi, and do I know you?" He asked suspiciously. "This isn't Manny Santos is it?" Cara gasped. It was him!

"No…no, this isn't Manny Santos…" Cara stammered.

"Oh, so who are you?"

"My name is Cara, I have to go," Cara said and hung up the phone. She dropped it and then out her head in between her legs.

"Shit, what happened?" Blake asked. Cara didn't answer. Blake moved next to her and put an arm around her. "Cara, what happened?"

"Nothing," Cara whispered. "But it was him!"

"Shit."

"He lives in Vancouver. I think he's married, and I think he has a kid; called Anna," Cara whispered.

"That's a lot to get from a short phone conversation," Blake stated, raising an eyebrow. Cara breathed in and out, an in and out. This was major news, was it true? Did her Mum know?

* * *

><p><strong>I know, not amazing, and not that long. But I've been working on my Host fic, and ran out of time. R&amp;R please!<strong>

**TheBlackRosette**


	9. Fly Away

Cara chewed the end of her pencil, she was in English but she wasn't paying attention. Blake was on one side of her and Lo on the other. Sam was directly behind. It had been a whole week since the phone incident, and Cara hadn't heard anything from Craig Manning.

Lo carefully flew a paper plane onto Cara desk, Cara opened it and read;

_Did you here? There was some guy snooping around the school earlier!_

Cara frowned and scribbled a response.

_Seriously? OMG Now I'm scared, I better get a ride with Blake!_

Cara watched Lo scribble another response.

_He was asked to leave by some teacher; he left in red convertible from like the eighties! So watch out for old red convertibles! We're on pedo alert I reckon!_

Cara looked across at Cara and grimaced. She was definitely hitching a ride with Blake now.

* * *

><p>Blake pulled up on the curb beside Cara's apartment block, Cara went to get out, but Blake stopped her.<p>

"Cara?"

"Yeah?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to, I don't know; go see a movie or something on Saturday?"

"Oh yeah, we should get Sammy and Lo to come…"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh."

"You don't want to go out with me," Blake whispered.

"Blake, I really like you, but…"

"I'm a messed up, antisocial freak," Blake sighed.

"Shit, no! Blake, don't think that, you're amazing it's just…" Cara didn't get to finish her sentence because Blake kissed her. Cara couldn't help feeling perfectly comfortable with it. Blake's lips were so soft, so nice. Cara had never actually kissed a boy before. She kissed Blake back, without even thinking. Blake's hands were on Cara's waist, she vaguely noticed that somehow her arms had ended up around Blake's neck.

It took Cara a while to realise what she was actually doing She pulled away and dropped her arms; she covered her mouth and looked forward.

"I have to go," she whispered. Blake nodded. "I'll um… call you." Cara got out of Blake's car and walked into her apartment. She needed to talk to Manny; she'd know what to do. Of course she would. Or maybe Emma would be better?

Cara was halfway up the stairs when she noticed the yelling. It was coming from the third floor, she followed the yelling. It was coming from her apartment. From outside it was muffled, just sounds.

_Probably just Mum's hormones cracking the shits at Jay for something;_ Cara thought to herself.

She quietly opened the door; she could make out the words now. The argument was coming from the kitchen, but it wasn't Manny and Jay. Cara held her breath, could it be?

"You left us!" Manny shrieked.

"You wanted me to leave!" Another voice yelled back.

"I wasn't serious! I loved you!"

"I loved you too, but you still wanted me to leave!"

"You left me with our two year old daughter, _alone!_"

"I sent you money, every month; I never even forgot her birthday! I always sent something!"

"Want to know something? I never gave her those presents, or took your freakin' money!"

"And you complain now that I left you alone? Tell me did you ever take her to see Joey, or Angie. Did you take her to see her Grandmother's grave?"

"Of course I didn't, I was trying to keep her away from everything to do with you!"

"So you deprived her of meeting half of her family?"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Why not? You yell at me; you always did! I guess some things never change…"

"And what about you? Are you still off your meds, experimenting with coke? Or are you going to tell me you're all clean, that you've changed?"

"You know what Manny, I _have _changed, okay. I haven't taken any drugs but my meds since you made me leave. I realised what I'd done wrong and I fixed it!"

"So you became a singer, had a few CDs released. Got married, had a kid, wrote an autobiography; forgot your old life?"

Cara slowly walked around the corner and into full view of the kitchen. Manny gave her a sad look, the man turned around. It really was him, Craig Manning. He looked just like the boy from the photos, only now he was a man. He still had dark curly hair. He was tall and had pale skin. His eyes were just like Cara's, a pretty hazel.

Cara looked from her mother to her father. This day was too much, first Blake kissing her, now Craig Manning, being here. She turned around and bolted. She wasn't sticking around. She ran down the stairs and out into the street. She ran and ran, and she didn't stop. She ran to the place she had always gone to think. It was a little park about six blocks away. In the park there was a tiny swing set. Cara ran into the park and towards the swings. She sat down on the swing and ran her hands up and down the rope.

This was information overload, never had she been given so much information about her father. She swung her legs, and began a steady rhythm. She pushed her legs straight and then pulled them back in under her, over and over; until she soared above the ground. Cara tilted her head backwards and looked up at the sky. If she could she'd stay like this forever; just fly away; disappear. But that she couldn't do, she would have to face her parents sooner or later and Blake too. But for now she was happy to just let go and be free.

* * *

><p><strong>Someone mentioned the spacing in the first chapters, and yes I know about that. I'm going to fix that over the holidays, which are really soon for me!<strong>

**TheBlackRosette**


	10. When We Finally Talk

The sun was setting over the park, and Cara was still on the swings. She wasn't swinging, just sitting. She watched people move through the park, mostly dog walkers now; though across the park was a small family. The Mum was laughing as she and the Dad swung a little girl between them. The little girl's giggles were loud and clear in the quiet park. It made Cara sad, but why would it?

Cara heard footsteps crunching on the ground behind her. She sighed quietly, someone must have found her.

"Cara?" It wasn't Manny. It was Craig.

"How'd you find me?" Cara mumbled.

"I used to bring you to this park when you were a baby. You used to love it."

"Why'd you come?"

"To the park?"

"No to Toronto, why didn't you just stay in Vancouver with your wife and Anna." Craig ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the swing beside Cara.

"I wanted to see you. I missed you."

"You barely know me."

"Is it wrong for me to miss my daughter? I missed thirteen years of your life."

"So why come back now? After all these years."

"Every day I wished I hadn't left, every day I regretted not being able to see you grow up, every day I wished I'd being just a little wiser…" Craig was cut off by Cara mobile, the sound of its ringing echoed across the quiet park. Cara looked at the caller ID, it was Blake.

"Oh shit."

"Not who you wanted to see?"

"It's Blake."

"Blake? Your … boyfriend?"

"He wishes," Cara laughed.

"Is he hassling you?"

"Oh no, Blake's amazing, like super smart, like he's my friend. It's not him, it's me with all the shit in my life, I don't drag someone else down with me. I like Blake, I just…"

"You're scared?"

"Yeah, he's been through so much, I just can't make him feel worse."

"So you like him?"

"How did our conversation get to this?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Yes, I like him, and then when he kissed me today in his car, I was like whoa!"

"You were kissing in his car? Is he old enough to drive a car?"

"He's sixteen. We weren't like _kissing_ in his car, he _kissed _me in his car," Cara blushed and looked across at Craig.

"I don't object to it! Just be more careful then your parents ever were," Cara giggled.

"So what should I do?"

"Take chance. You say he's a good guy, so go for it."

"What about you, do you love your wife?"

"Of course I do, I wouldn't have married Fi if I didn't love her."

"So that's her name, Fi?"

"Short for Fiona."

"My Stepmother's name is Fiona Manning?"

"Fiona Ray-Manning."

"So my half-sister is Anna Ray-Manning?"

"Yeah."

"And to think I thought I had barely any family just a few weeks ago."

"You can meet them one day."

"I'd like that."

"So do you want to know why I left?"

"Yeah?"

"I have this thing called Bipolar Disorder…"

"Yeah, Jay told me."

"Oh. Well anyway, Manny and I had been fighting, and I was very, very stupid. I stopped taking my meds, and started taking cocaine. I messed up, and your Mum kicked me out, and she was right to not take any of my shit. So I went away realising what I'd done, and I cleaned myself up."

"But you never came back."

"Your Mum told me to go and never come back, but turns out she never come back until I was clean."

"And you met Fi, married her and had Anna."

"Exactly. I um… recorded a CD too."

"Nice, my Dad rock star," Cara laughed. Craig smiled at her.

"You called me your Dad."

"Well you are my Dad, and I'm glad you came back."

"I'm glad I did too. Want to go home?"

"Not really, not yet."

"Is the Dot still open?"

"It's been entirely rebuilt, but yeah; there's still a Dot."

"Then let's go there."

* * *

><p>Craig and Cara walked to the Dot together. They exchanged stories as they went. In the Dot they sat down at a table towards the back. Craig went to order and Cara sat back in her chair and smiled. Craig's phone started vibrating, without thinking Cara picked it up to answer.<p>

"Craig Manning's phone," she told the caller.

"Who is this?"

"Um… Cara Santos... Who is this?"

"Is Craig there?"

"He's busy, can take a message?"

"Tell me, Cara Santos, is Craig's sister in hospital?"

"I don't know, I don't think so…"

"Right, okay, tell Craig I rang." It sounded like the caller was about to cry.

"But wait you didn't say your…" The caller hung up, "name." Craig came and sat down with two drinks.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I answered your phone for you. I didn't get the person's name. Um… They asked if your sister was in hospital."

"Shit, what did you say?"

"I said I didn't think she was."

"Oh shit."

"Is that bad?"

"I told Fi my sister was in hospital, and that was why I was coming to Toronto…"

"You haven't told her about me?"

"No. I thought I'd never see you again, so it wouldn't matter."

"Oh my God!"

"I know."

"She probably thinks you're having an affair!"

"Shit. How am I going to explain this? Cara I have to go and ring her. I'm sorry; I'll talk to you soon."

"You can't leave!"

"I have to!"

Craig got up and left. Cara sat back and slammed her fist on the table. She was on her own again, but it didn't feel as free this time. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled. He picked up after three rings.

"Cara?"

"Blake, wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, now?"

"Yeah, meet in the ravine." Cara shoved her phone in her pocket and got up. She walked out of the Dot and headed for the ravine. She wasn't going home, but she wasn't going to be on her own either.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, ten chapters. I can't believe I got this far! I'd be surprised if anyone's still reading though... If you are out there reading this, please take a minute to review my story and tell me what you think. <strong>

**TheBlackRosette**


	11. A Nice Boy For Cara

**Okay so one of my most dedicated readers pointed out in a review about Fiona being a Degrassi character. Soi looked it up and turns out she is. Um sorry to people who got excited but I kind of made Fi up. Though the name may of come slightly from Tomorrow, When The War Began. Anyway, I actually haven't seen any further than Degrassi Goes Hollywood, but I have seen EVERYTHING before it, including DJH and DH. But anyway sorry again. I kind of made the Fi in this story up.**

* * *

><p>Cara half walked, half ran to the ravine. She felt lonely, and things weren't making sense. Why had Craig just run off like that? Screw Fi, she was his daughter, he could ring Fi later! Cara rubbed the tears that were threatening to break their flood gates away. There was very little light left now; the last rays were just licking the horizon. Above Cara the streetlamps were slowly coming on with an eerie flicker.<p>

Cara could see the line of trees that marked the top of the ravine ahead of her. She pushed her legs harder and sprinted the last five hundred metres. When she reached the first wall of trees, she didn't stop to hesitate. Cara burst straight through them and into the clearing. There were a few burnouts sitting on a far picnic table eating McDonald's, but aside from them the clearing was empty.

Cara flopped down on a picnic bench and gazed up at the few stars that were appearing. Within minutes she heard the crunch of car tyres on gravel. She sat up and sighted Blake's silver Audi stopping in the parking lot. She awkwardly rolled off the table and landed in a crouch. She burst up and ran the short to the Audi. She pulled the door open and fell into the passenger seat.

"You came!" Cara smiled at Blake. He nodded. Of course he had, he'd do anything for Cara. He'd never hurt her by leaving her alone, he had had to come.

"What did you want?" Blake asked. Cara leaned forward and grabbed Blake's collar. She pulled him towards her and kissed him. Blake couldn't help enjoying it, but it wasn't like Cara to do something so – impulsive. He pulled away.

"What?" Cara asked. She went at him again. She pressed herself into him and pushed him back. Blake, wishing he wasn't a good guy at that point, pushed Cara away again. Something was obviously wrong with her; she was acting out.

"Cara, no!" Blake pushed her away.

"You wanted to earlier, outside my flat!" Cara told him, again she went at him. She knotted her fingers in his hair. She could tell he was debating it, she could tell he wasn't sure whether to just go with it, like any other guy would; or to be the good guy and push her away. She untangled one of her hands and began trying to push his shirt up.

"Cara!" Blake pushed her away. She fell back on the passenger seat and gave Blake a look that was completely unreadable. So many emotions crossed her face, anger, humiliation, fear – sadness?

"Don't you want me now?" Cara burst into tears. "Don't you want me, don't you care about me? Nobody cares about me, everybody leaves me!" Cara's tears rolled thick down her face. Her sobs were loud in the small space. She pulled the door of the car open and went to climb out. Blake caught her hand and pulled her back.

"Cara what's wrong?" He whispered. Cara didn't look at Blake. Blake leane4d across and gently closed the passenger door. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"No!" Cara shouted at him. The only thing worse than being here right now, would to be to go home. Manny would rip her to shreds, grill her about Craig. No she couldn't face that. Not yet. Her tears weren't stopping, even though she willed them to. She begged and pleaded her eyes to close the floodgates, but the current was far too strong. She felt strong, warm arms around her. It was Blake. He hugged her into his chest and smoothed down her hair. Already her tears were making wet marks on his shirt.

"Shh…" His voice was so calm, so soothing. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to." Cara leaned into him and just let it be like that. They didn't speak, they didn't move. They just left it as it was. Blake stroked Cara's hair and Cara buried her head deeper into Blake's chest. After a while Cara drifted off to sleep, and by then she was at peace.

* * *

><p>When Cara awoke, she was in her own bed, tucked in too. Had she dreamt that entire thing? Was that possible that she had? She felt uncomfortable, but why? She found out when she slid off her blankets. She was fully dressed, in jeans and all. All but her shoes which were next to the bed. Cara crept quietly to the door of her room and opened it a crack. There were three people talking in the next room, they were talking about her. There was Manny and Jay, and the other voice was – Blake?<p>

"Thank you Blake," Manny was saying. "I was so worried when she left!"

"She really was, she just about pulled her hair put," Jay added.

"I know it's not really my place to ask, but why was she so upset?" Blake asked.

"Her Dad turned up," Jay told him.

"Oh wow, with his kid or just him?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Ah – I helped Cara find him, to be honest with you."

"No. It was just him," Manny told him.

"I should be going, Mum's probably worried," Blake told Manny.

"Oh of course." Manny said warmly, Blake turned to leave. "And Blake?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You already thanked me."

"No, thank you for stopping her. Most boys would say 'Hey! A girl's throwing herself at me, awesome!' But you didn't, you saw something was wrong with her and said no. That takes guts Blake, and it's very honourable." Blake smiled at Manny.

"Cara's special, it would be a waste for her to throw something important away like that," Blake told Manny, Manny nodded and smiled at him.

"Yeah she is special," she agreed with a nod.

"If you like, I can come get Cara and take her to school tomorrow," Blake offered. Manny smiled and shook her head.

"Thank you, but I think I'll drive her tomorrow, we need to talk anyway."

"Well see you soon Ms Santos," Blake smiled.

"I hope so, Blake, I really do." Manny leaned forwards and gave Blake's hand a squeeze. Blake disappeared from view, moments later Cara heard the quiet thud of the door closing. She sat back and wrapped her arms around her knees. So it hadn't been a dream. She had really thrown herself at Blake. Craig had come. Cara pondered what Blake had said. He said that she was special, did he mean it? Did he really care about her that much? Cara sighed again, had she messed everything up?

* * *

><p>Manny, as promised, drove Cara to school in the morning. Nobody had really spoken at breakfast. Jay had made pancakes for breakfast and much to Cara's surprise they were actually very good. Manny had just watched Cara eat with cautious eyes, while Jay made poorly received attempts to start a conversation. In Manny's car it was a whole new situation.<p>

"What did he do to you?" Manny asked Cara.

"Blake?"

"No Craig."

"He talked to me."

"That was all?" Manny turned to raise an eyebrow at her now.

"Yes."

"Why were so upset then?"

"Words can hurt." Manny sighed, she was sick of Cara's short, distant answers.

"You threw yourself at Blake, why?"

"I was upset."

"Why?"

"He ran off."

"Blake?"

"No Craig." Manny tried not to giggle; they used exactly the same lines as before, but reversed; as if Cara was turning Manny's words against her.

"Why'd he run off?"

"I answered his phone, his wife answered, and she probably now thinks he's having sex with some slut from Toronto." Manny glanced over at Cara. "He hasn't told her about me Mum. He told her he was seeing his sister who was in hospital."

"He didn't mention you at all?"

"No." Manny nodded. She pulled up in front of the school. Blake was sitting on the steps waiting for Cara. He waved at the car, Manny waved back. "Nice boy he is."

"Yeah, he is." Cara smiled at Blake and he smiled back, it was nice to know she could count on someone always.

* * *

><p><strong>I think I'm reaching the end of this story, just a few more chapters. I don't think there are heaps of people reading now anyway :) Thanks to those who are though. I appreciate it. Stay tuned for the next chapter though. Hopefully it won't be too long. **Crosses finger**<strong>

**TheBlackRosette**


	12. An Awkward Dinner

Cara picked at the hem of her dress. Manny, Jay and Cara were sitting in the Bistro waiting for Craig and his wife and child. Cara wasn't sure how she'd got here really. It was a week since had Craig turned up. Three days ago he'd turned up during dinner and invited Manny, Jay and Cara to have dinner with him and his family. Manny had agreed on the basis that she and Jay would be there to 'protect' Cara; Craig was already twenty minutes late and Manny was grumbling about having cramps. The baby was due in less than a month; and Manny had been grumbling about how uncomfortable it was for few weeks. Jay and Cara didn't take much notice because of this.

At seven o'clock, half an hour after they should have been there, Craig, Fi and Anna arrived. Cara noticed Fi first. She was beautiful. She had golden brown hair which was pulled into a high, loose bun, soft grey eyes and long golden eyelashes. Her skin was only a few shades lighter than her hair and was clear and spotless. She had full, rosy-pink lips and cute, curved nose. Holding her hand was a girl who seemed around four or five. The girl could have only been Anna. She looked just like her Mother; except for her eyes which were a pretty hazel, like Craig and Cara's.

"Craig," Manny greeted slowly. She, Jay and Cara stood up.

"Manny, Jay, Cara; this is my wife Fiona," Craig beckoned towards Fi. Fi held her hand out to us send shook each in turn.

"Pleasure to meet you, Fiona," Manny smiled.

"Oh please, call me Fi," she said returning the smile.

"Fi, this is Manny Santos and her partner Jay, and this is her daughter Cara." Craig told Fi.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet all of you. Oh and this is our daughter Anna," Fi held up her daughters hand. "Anna, say hello to Daddy's friends."

"Hello," Anna said shyly.

"She's adorable!" Manny smiled at Fi. Everyone sat down and I began to pick at my hem again.

"So how do you know Craig, Manny?" Fi asked.

"High school, same with Jay, yeah we know him from Degrassi," Manny answered.

"Were you in the same class?"

"Manny was a year below me and Jay was a year above," Craig told her. Fi nodded slowly.

"So had did you all become friends then?' Fi asked calmly; though nobody noticed the slight bulge in her cheek as she ran her tongue across it. Cara did see though and made a mental note of it. Fi was obviously a bit paranoid about this whole dinner.

"I actually didn't know Craig very well," Jay told Fi. She nodded slowly. Cara made note that Fi nodded a lot when she was suspicious. It was very obvious.

"Oh. What about you, Manny? Did you know Craig well?"

"Well yes," Fi raised an eyebrow, Manny continued, "Craig's Stepfather, Joey, was friends with my best friend's Mother, Spike; I mean Christine, and Emma, my best friend, met Craig at Joey and uh… Julia's wedding. When Craig moved to Degrassi he hung out with Emma a bit and yeah; we met through Emma." Manny nodded and looked down to avoid Fi's eyes. Craig too looked nervous and it wasn't a surprise when he changed the topic.

"Do you still see Emma?" He asked Manny.

"Yeah, she's still my best friend. Did know she married Spinner?" Manny asked.

"Seriously? You know I don't know why but I always thought that she and Sean would have stuck together. I guess not though, but Spin? Wow," Craig looked bewildered.

"Well that's that we thought," Manny indicated at Jay, "but Sean joined the army. Last time Emma heard from him he was in Afghanistan." That was the end of the conversation for a while. In fact nobody spoke much until the food was brought to their table. Cara had become so adjusted to the silence that she barely noticed when Fin spoke to her.

"…Degrassi, Cara?" Was all she heard. She flicked her eyes up to see Fi looking at her.

"Pardon?"

"Do you go to Degrassi?'

"Yeah." Cara nodded.

"Do you like it?"

"It's school."

"You don't get good grades?"

"No." Fi began to take a hint that Cara wasn't up for a conversation; but it puzzled her why. It couldn't be; could it? She turned to Manny.

"You are so young to have a teenage daughter, Manny," Fi noted.

"Yeah well; I was almost fifteen when I had her."

"Has it always been just you two?" Fi asked. Everyone stopped to look at Fi. Cara watched her Mother study Fi very carefully.

"Mostly. My Dad kicked me out so."

"So Cara's Dad disappeared?"

"Yeah, when she was two."

"How awful! Why did he leave?"

"Well I actually told him to go. He was messed up in drugs and I didn't want him around Cara." Craig coughed loudly at this.

"Did he leave you with nothing?"

"Well he sent money; but I wasn't taking _his_ money; not again! It was hard though."

"You rejected his money?"

"Yeah; but he moved across the country and got rich and famous anyway." Manny's voice held a great bitterness now.

"Rich and famous?"

"Yeah a musician. He forgot all about us; he married and had a kid and even wrote a fucking autobiography with no mention of us!" Several people on other tables looked around in alarm.

"I still sent you a cheque; every month! And I did _not_ forget about you or Cara! How could I forget about my own daughter?" Craig stood up in anger.

"She's your daughter?" Fi hissed in a low, dark voice.

"Well yeah…"

"You didn't tell me you had a daughter in Toronto for eight years?" Fi roared.

"How could I?"

"Oh Jesus Christ Craig!"

"I second that!" Manny added. "How could you not tell your wife about Cara?"

"What I was supposed to just say; 'Hey Fi, I have a daughter who's going to turn sixteen this year in Toronto. She was born she I was fifteen.'"

"It might have been nice!"

"All of you just shut up!" Cara yelled standing up. "Jesus Christ, you sound like you're my age. For God's sake!" Everyone stared at Cara. She was the topic of this whole fight; and now she was stopping it too.

"Mummy, why is everyone yelling?" Anna asked. Everyone looked at the little girl; she was so naïve, so innocent. It made Cara smile and how young she seemed. Cara felt the opposite. She felt like in the past ten minutes she had grown more than ever before.

"Out!" Yelled the waiter who'd taken our order. He glared hard at them and pointed towards the door. Craig pulled fifty dollars out of his wallet and placed it on the table. It wasn't enough but who cared? The group all shuffled out of the Bistro into the street. The other customers watched them go; Cara felt they were enjoying this or were at least a little bemused maybe.

"Could this night get any worse?" Cara muttered harshly.

"I can't believe we got kicked out of a restaurant," Jay chortled.

"Hmm… I think my water's just broke," Manny giggled. Everyone all gave small bitter laughs. "No seriously." They all looked around and to see that yes, Manny's waters had broken.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha. Couldn't help myself. Just a reminder Fi is not Fiona from season 10 or whatever.<br>****Only like two or three chapters left or something like that. Love to hear from you.**

**TheBlackRosette**


	13. Family

"I'm going to take Anna for a walk," Craig said suddenly. Cara understood his motives, sitting around in a hospital waiting room while the girl you knocked up in high school had her baby probably was kind of awkward; though Fi was worse off as she'd only met these people the same night. Cara shifted uncomfortably as Craig guided a skipping Anna down the corridor. Fi was twiddling her thumbs and biting her lip. Cara felt like she should say something; but what?

"So . . . chaotic night, huh?" She said awkwardly. Fi raised her eyebrows but did not look up from her hands. "I haven't been in a hospital in like forever. I kinda forgot how creepy they are." Fi's lips twitched into a small, tight smile. She remained silent. The smile vanished as soon as it had appeared and her face became more frustrated, as if she was working out something difficult.

"Do you remember him?" She asked suddenly. She flicked her eyes up to meet Cara's. They studied her face, no doubt noting how much like Craig she was in appearance. She sucked in a short breath and let it out in a quick rush. "Sorry, stupid question." She looked back down at her hands. She felt so small, so young again, despite being almost thirty.

"No." Cara kept her answer simple. Fi nodded as if comprehending this information. "It's always just been Mum for as long as I can remember."

"You didn't even know his name?"

"Not for a long time. I, ah, found an old diary. It's where I found names and all." Cara told Fi. "I found some pictures too." Cara fished in her bag for her purse; from her purse she pulled out the photo of her and Craig.

"Is that one?"

"Yeah."

"Can I see?" She handed Fi the photo. Fi smiled and touched Craig's face. She continued to look at the photo for several minutes. She didn't speak; she just studied the photo in her hands with the greatest care. After some time she handed Cara back the photo. "I'm sorry you grew up without him." She whispered. Cara shrugged it off but Fi's words echoed in her head. _I'm sorry you grew up without him._

Cara's phone rang loudly; both Fi and Cara jumped.

"Excuse me," Cara mumbled hitting answer.

"Cara! Oh my God you said you'd call when dinner was over!" Lo's voice sang into Cara's ear.

"Hey Lo."

"Where are you?"

"The hospital."

"Shit! Did Manny knock him out of something?"

"No, uh, the baby's coming!"

"Wow, that's awkward." They laughed. "I'm coming to hospital, okay!"

"No, Lo. . ." Click. Okay, Lo was coming to the hospital. Fi looked slightly bemused.

"My friend," Cara told her.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, Lo, uh, Lauren," Fi raised an eyebrow and nodded, "but there's Sammy, uh, Sam, and Blake too." Cara added. Why did I say that? What the hell? Fi just smiled.

* * *

><p>"Cara!" Lo dashed across the waiting room. Behind her were Sammy and Blake. Craig had returned with Anna by now too. Lo flung her arms around Cara, "I swore someone was dead when said you were at the hospital!"<p>

"Right. Uh, Lo, why are Sammy and Blake here? It's like midnight."

"Well I needed someone to drive, hence Blake, and I couldn't just leave Sammy out of this. That would be bitchy!" Lo laughed.

"Are you high?" Cara turned to look and Sammy and Blake, "is she high?"

"Surprisingly not," Sammy grinned. "Are you going to introduce us?"

"Right, ah, Craig, Fi, this is Sam, Lo and Blake; Sammy, Lo, Blake, this is Craig, my Dad, and Fi, my step mum," Cara told them. She then noticed Anna. "Oh yeah and this is Anna," Cara added. Before anyone could say anything else the midwife came out of Manny's room. She beamed.

"You can go in now," she informed the group. Everyone shuffled towards the room and filed in. as Cara went to go in Blake grabbed her hand and pulled her back. Cara stumbled and almost crashed into Blake.

"Is everything okay?" He asked gently.

"Surprisingly, yes, everything's great." Cara told him. She reached forward and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it softly. "Come on." Cara pulled Blake into the small, crowded room. Manny and Jay beamed and Cara when they saw her. Manny was holding a small bundle in her arms.

"Cara," Manny smiled, "meet your little brother." Cara's face broke into a grin. Manny held the baby forward and Cara took his sleeping body into her own arms. He was so tiny but so beautiful. His head had soft, dark hair and his nose was all squashy looking. Rather than being asleep he was wide awake. He looked at Cara; he had big, brown eyes that would make you melt.

"We're calling him Mack, Mack Hogart-Santos," Jay told Cara.

"Well Mack Hogart-Santos, welcome to the world, we've been expecting you," Cara kissed his forehead and held him back towards Manny.

"Craig, do you want a hold?" Manny asked softly.

"It would be an honour," he told her taking Mack into his arms. Cara reached back and grabbed Blake's hand again. Blake wound it around her so his arm around her so her arm went across her front and he had his arm around her waist. Cara smiled at him and he returned the smile.

Cara turned back and observed the room, her Mum in the bed and Jay with his arms around her; Craig holding baby Mack and Fi looking over his shoulder in awe with Anna holding onto her hand; Lo and Sammy with their arms slung over each other's shoulders laughing at something Jay had said, Blake with his arm around her, watching on too, and herself standing watching them all. These people in this room were her family. They were whom she belonged with and she knew could count on every single one of these people if she needed them. She couldn't wait to get to know her father, Fi and Anna; to love Mack and watch Jay and Manny so in love; to hang out with Sammy and Lo; and to see more of Blake. And Cara was sure at that very moment that her life couldn't get any better because for once everything was absolutely perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh God, I might get a little emotional now. That was the conclusion to Cara's story. I don't really think there is going to be a sequel; I feel this is much more stand alone. I feel really sad because that's it. I decided to leave it more open-ended so you could decide for yourself what happened next. I really hope you enjoyed reading it; and thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed my fic, you were amazing support. I hope some of you might read some of my other fics and I have a new Degrassi one on the way about Clare. (Yes I've started watching the later seasons [finally!]) But anyway watch out for that. Happy Holidays!<strong>

**TheBlackRosette**


End file.
